I am in love with this article. I have never run a marathon and pride myself on the ideation that I absolutely never will.

The first thing the ARMY taught me is that I hate running and now the only way anyone could get me to run is by chasing me with a loaded firearm.

Let’s go running, someone will say.

Fuck no, I will respond.

After living in the city my entire life we moved to a small town farming community in Iowa. The FIRST thing I noticed is that everyone is running all over town. TEENAGERS GET UP HOURS BEFORE SCHOOL TO GO RUNNING, ON PURPOSE and they run in packs. It’s like the cool thing to do around here. Up and running is the in crowd. It’s so irrational. Running uphill, downhill. Blizzard? Doesn’t matter. 99.98% humidity? So what. It physically pains me to witness their madness.

The only thing that eases this pain in even the slightest is by standing in my pajamas eating donuts while watching them run past my window.

Newspaper reporter in Eastern Iowa. The views expressed are mine alone.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store