Okay, this is intense.

I don’t know you well enough to know whether or not you’re “husband material,” but I do know it takes two to make a relationship work. All people make poor companion choices for various reasons. I know I have. I was in a relationship with this one guy that smashed my Xbox. I was crushed. All of my game data was saved on the hard drive so I had to start from scratch when I purchased a new one, but the lesson I learned was he wasn’t the right guy for me if what upset me most was the loss of my Xbox.

We have a heartbreak ritual in our house for when the kids have gotten dumped. It’s Ben& Jerry’s ice cream and pathetic chick flick marathons on Netflix. My husband and I have always told our kids that they have to go through lots of terrible relationships in order to figure out what they like and don’t like as well as learn what their personal boundaries are. So after they go through a dozen of those they’ll be ready to make it work with the right person.

Also, I don’t see my husband as my husband. Actually, there have been occasions where we’ve been like, “Oh yeah, we’re married.” I see him as my companion. You know, the guy I build potato launchers with, chase fire flies, watch baseball, have heated debates on whether or not we should line our property with M18 Claymore mines for security purposes (I vote yes but I’m a bit more free spirited than he is), and the guy who has piles of technology and computer stuff stacked up next to my irrational mountain of books.

P.S. When our kids grow up they need to go off into the world on their own. I did my job, now get out. I mean that very lovingly, of course.

Newspaper reporter in Eastern Iowa. The views expressed are mine alone.

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