This is an eloquent piece, Stella. For what it’s worth, I think how you feel is totally normal and okay. We might all be better off if we took the time to find silence and space for ourselves.
I don’t leave the house much and people keep telling me that it’s unhealthy. I challenge them. Why? Why is it unhealthy? Can you break down the specifics please? Because they can’t, because if I’m truly content then there really is no debate about it.
P.S. No one knows what they want to be when they grow up. If they claim they do I call bullshit. It’s impossible to. Five years, ten years, a couple of decades we’re going to change and with that our goals, dreams and passions will change too.