This is how I feel and why I failed at quitting. I’ve had a rough few weeks. I feel rough right now. Migraine, fatigued, achy body, the sensation of impending doom and misery, all symptoms of the depression I experience. I completely hid yesterday. No stories published, no social media posts, just me holed up in my warm and cozy home placed perfectly inside the frozen tundra of Iowa.

I mean, think about it. Even my writing voice is Bipolar. I either write about my most depressed experiences or really funny shit. There doesn’t seem to be a middle ground with me. Maybe that’s my niche. Whatever it is, I feel I have so many stories to tell and still so many others to connect with.

Yeah, maybe I’m broke but I’m not sure money is enough of a factor to determine what it is I’m meant to be, intended to be doing. At some point passion has to outweigh all other things. Maybe I needed the time to contemplate so I could learn and let go of those expectations and allow myself to live up to what I love opposed to wanting materialistic things I don’t need.

Thanks for always reading! I’m a better writer and person because of you.

Newspaper reporter in Eastern Iowa. The views expressed are mine alone.

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